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Berserk – The End · 24 July 2007
I’m a total failure at self expression, I’ve sitting here for a good twenty minutes trying to come up with a good way to address this series. Total failure, total failure, I just can’t find the right words. It’s a most miserable feeling.
First off
For the majority of the series I sat there and nodded, appreciating the animation, the music, the totally violent and bloody nature of the show, which I really liked. It was not until the end, the last handful of episodes, that the series got me. I really just wanted to run around and scream, “What the hell happened!? What the hell was that for?!” I had such a need to strangle someone, preferably myself, at the end of the series. I didn’t see any of it coming, at all. It was like I managed to dodge everything it threw at me and then at the very end, when it looked like I’d make it through the series totally unscathed and breathing, that it swung a mace at my head. God, that hurt like hell.
Despite the violent nature of the show, the foundation upon which everything else was built, were the characters. It’s pretty amazing, they managed to tell one helluva story, overflowing with amazing characters, and still got away with having one guy kill a hundred people.
Just so you know, I was all for Guts and Caska, even back when she hated his guts, no pun intended. I was also a bit dense and totally missed that she, for a good portion of the show, was infatuated, in love, with Griffith, until she actually said it out loud. There were so many of those little moments, those little Guts and Caska moments and all of them, save for one, were interrupted by something or another. It made me want to bang my head into a wall, repeatedly. It was frustrating. Twenty episodes of watching this painfully obvious relationship unfold and I think it’s twenty one when it finally happens. I spent the entire episode cheering, I actually got up and did a little dance. I have to say, as much as I hated being tormented by the wait, it was worth it. It made that marvelous moment all the better. Sweetest thing in the world, God, that made me happy on the inside.
Surprisingly, I really liked Guts. The first couple of episodes gave me a terrible first impression of his character. He was scary, he was brutish, he killed without mercy and emotion, he was just creepy. Pained and haunted by his past, sure, but he also chopped that guy in half. I whistled. It was strangely beautiful, for what it was worth, to see that man’s torso fly through the air. Guts, as a teenager, struck me as impulsive and short sighted. Guts as a little kid, in his flashback, broke my nonexistent heart. Guts, in adulthood, totally destroyed all of my previous perceptions of him. Turns out, he was a really nice guy, kind, caring, with a strange sense of humor. He was an infinitely profound character. To watch him change and develop over the course of the series was one of the most delightful things I’ve been witness to. In a really cheesy metaphor, it was like watching a flower blossom. He also had the greatest facial expression, such a quirky guy.
Secondly
It was a kind of “you had me at hello” thing with Berserk. The very first episode got my attention. For one thing, it left so many things unexplained, I couldn’t live without knowing the entire story. Who the heck is this Black Swordsman? Why is he back? What is he back from? Why did he leave to begin with? What’s the mark on his neck? What are those insanely creepy demon things? Why did that guy just turn into a giant snake monster? Who in the name of God is Griffith and why does the Black Swordsman (still nameless at this point) speak his name in such contempt and hatred? And why is his left eye closed!?
Twenty four episodes later, I finally understood everything and with that understanding came the need to strangle something. The ending bothered me, it bothered me to pieces. The only expression I could find that satisfied how deeply it bothered me was “难受“, which means something along the lines of suffering a great calamity, feeling unwell, being perfectly incapable of living.
The source of all of my emotional anxiety and pain and why I’m perfectly incapable of living is one man, Griffith. Bluntly, I’d like to see the guy die. I want to crack open his skull with my bare hands (if only that were possible), bring him back from the dead and do it again, and again, and again and a couple more times. That’s how much I hate him. He’s despicable, absolutely despicable.
Griffith still gets credit for trying, he gets a lot of credit. People like him are supposed to win. The man of humble origins rising through the ranks to achieve the highest position in the kingdom’s army. He gets a whole lot of credit. So where did the guy go wrong? He had the wrong idea since the beginning. I’m the one that watches anime for the hot guy and Griffith was the hot guy, but there was something ominous about his character that I found very disconcerting. With his flowing, silvery blue hair in the wind, those mesmerizing cobalt eyes, standing on that hill, even with his innocent smile and unwavering confidence, his words were so unnerving, so disturbing. He was the hawk that soared across the sky, higher and higher, chasing his immortal dream, others flocked to him like moths to lamplight. The higher you are, the harder you fall. It was a feeling of impending doom and inevitable defeat that surrounded his character. It made me feel so uncomfortable, because for a while, he had me believing too. His kills Yurius, he kills the Queen and when all seemed perfect, everything went to hell. I’m not blaming Guts for what happened to Griffith. After all, it was Griffith who gave Guts the idea to chase him own dream, to stand as equals. And then, the retarded man goes and seriously, by the end of the series, messes everything up.
Just exactly what the hell happened at the end? Someone tell me I’m not just seeing things. It honestly felt like my wonderful dream turned into a hideous, hellish nightmare, and even after the episode finished, I never woke up from it. So, Griffith, poor child, gets tortured for a few years, gets rescued, suffers emotional suicidal fit and turns into a demon king by killing everyone as sacrifices?! Why in the name of God did that happen!? Perfectly incapable of living! Everyone died! Judeau, Pippin, Corkus even, everyone! Even Ricket, an episode earlier though. I wanted to bash my head against something, scream and pitch myself of a very tall building (plenty of those in New York). It’s the most baffling, jaw dropping hour of anime I’ve ever sat through. It was just one big, “What the hell?!” moment.
And Caska, Caska, why did that happen? They try so hard to kill me, I swear to God, they do everything possible in the span of thirty minutes to drive me insane and suicidal. If I weren’t so damn freaked out, I would’ve cried. The last two episodes were just scary, beyond belief, atrociously epic. I actually think I caught a glimpse of hell. It’s like someone taking a scalpel and delicately cutting open my chest and I’m just forced to watch. With those disturbing surgical gloves, peel back the skin, dig into the cut and pull back my ribs like opening a book. And there I am, and there are all of my organs, weltering in my own pool of blood. The most disturbing part is when I realize I’m doing this to myself. That all of this totally random torment wasn’t necessary at all.
It’s just an anime, downloaded, fansubbed, pixelated people moving across my LCD monitor, their voices coming from speakers that didn’t work too well. Guts severed his own arm, he literally bashed his arm with a stub of a sword until it came off and even then he couldn’t do a damn thing. One of those four freakish demon things remarks that it’s beautiful, watching this unfold. And in some really strange, possibly sadistic, way, it was. It was beautiful, so beautiful that it was mind blowing, unfathomable beauty.
For the longest time afterwards, I sat there and I couldn’t say a damn thing.
Random bits
- Guts, that was a funny name. Couldn’t help it, had to get that out there.
- That Blue Whale Super Heavy Assault Knight commander, the one that kept on getting his ass kicked, was a funny man. Apparently, everything was passed down through his family for hundreds of years.
- The armies had terribly funny names, the Purple Rhinos? The Purple Rhinos? Striking fear in the hearts of men? Come again? Why not try Pink Pandas, or Blue Buffaloes?
- The whole bit where the governor slept with Griffith scared me so badly. God, perverted old men…
- I hated the Queen. Long live the Queen…Not! Glad she died, hated her. Most moronic, useless character, period.
- Griffith still needs to die, no matter how good looking he is (or was).
- I really liked the opening theme, don’t ask.
Lastly
Brik told me to give it ten episodes, Bateszi to give it four, I gave it all twenty five and I’m glad that I did. I’m glad that I stayed up till around five to finish watching all of it. When it comes to anime, books or movies, I can’t take it slow. I need the adrenaline, that rush, that tense nervousness with each page, each episode, each minute. I want the rush at the end, the climax, I actually want to be smacked by a large mace. That’s the kind of impact I want out of a good show, a good anything, I want to get hit by something large, I want something to send me flying twenty feet in the air and hit a wall. I want to be completely killed and slaughtered by whatever I’m watching, or else, what’s the point? That’s why Harry Potter was so brilliantly disappointing. It didn’t pack a punch, it was like being smacked very gently by a pillow. Dear God, the emotional impact of Harry Potter was enormous, I just couldn’t handle it. That’s sarcastic, by the way. Honestly, I want the thing to shoot me.
Berserk reduced me to little pieces of flesh and bits of bone in about five episodes. When I was little, when my grandmother took me to the butchers, I’d always wonder what it’d feel like going through a grinder. Now I know, it feel absolutely miserable but it’s beautiful. Thanks to this show, I’ve thoroughly enjoyed my time being ground meat.
Sure, it was a giant bloodbath, that had its perks, but the thing that resonates through my mind at the end were the people. The characters, Guts, Griffith, Caska and everyone else. Guts still strikes me as one of the most poignant and complex characters ever devised. The paragon of an action hero, he possibly embodies the heart and soul of the series. Totally inexplicable, I have no idea why that is so, I still can’t find words but I hope you’d understand anyways. There was just something about all of it, something about him…
I liked it, oh, yes, I did. The whole thing just gave me such a nice, tormented feeling, from the Band of Hawk down to each character. It was a different feeling, different from the cool, fluidity of Bebop, different from the heaviness and suffocating weight of Evangelion. It was like flying, at first going stubbornly against the wind, then just drifting along, lost in the gentle sorrow, going wherever the wind takes me.
Dear God… · 23 July 2007
I just finished watching Berserk…I’m at a complete loss for words….Jesus Christ…
I want to rip something up into very, very, very small pieces. That’s what I want to do. It’s honestly like waking up from something very, very, very bad and you wish you’d understand completely what the hell just happened! It’s like waking up from a nightmare and not being able to piece it together. What the hell happened at the end?!
Zombie Loan – Episode 3 · 22 July 2007
Well, after watching episode two, which rubbed me the wrong way for some reason, I wasn’t really expecting much from episode three. I didn’t even have an entry on two, so, it was kinda like, oh well, here goes, gotta do something after having spent the entire day reading. Anyways, it turned out better than I expected. Nothing really happened, but several characters were introduced and the build up for the next episode was pretty good.
Plot Michiru is talking to Yuuta when one of her other, nameless friends comes up to her and asks her to get lunch. Gathering her strength and determination, Michiru replies, no, she’s not buying lunch today. Faced with no other choice, the other nonchalantly takes on the task of buying lunch. Yuuta asks for an apple juice. After the other girl leaves, Yuuta congratulates Michiru on sticking up for herself. She always thought Michiru was so shy and selfless that it was good she refused this time. She also hands Michiru her class notes, saying that since she missed three days of school and she was a bit slow, she’d have a hard time catching up. Overwhelmed by this act of kindness, Michiru begins to cry.
Harry Potter – The End · 21 July 2007
Getting the Book
Left home around seven, took one of the new N trains downtown to Rector Street. Crossed the West Side Highway on a sky bridge, much like the Tribeca Bridge up at Stuyvesant, cut through the ‘front lawn’ of the apartment complex and walked into Two-hundred Rector Place. Two-hundred Rector Place was a pretty big place. Over forty something floors, it was a labyrinthine of carpeted floors, emergency stairwells, confusing directional signs that were too small to read and little kids, there were always little kids. I’ve come here enough times, more than enough, to know my way around. Curtis, catching a glimpse from the sign propped up on the front desk, rang 19E to announce my arrival. He nodded as he placed the phone back into the cradle, I thanked him and bounced off to the elevator.
I went down to Battery Park to buy the new, and last, Harry Potter book with Andrew and Ruozhou. Up at Scholastic (the store, somewhere in Soho, Prince and Spring?) there’s a major Harry Potter party of sorts, there’s supposed to be one at the Barnes & Noble in Union Square as well and probably in every other book store. After concluding that, a) none of us cared enough about Harry Potter to dress up and attend said ‘parties’, b) we all really just wanted the book, and c) we just didn’t really care, we stayed at Andrew’s and played Zelda till his parents made us go to Borders so we’d have a good spot in line.
We spent two and a half hours wandering through a bookstore. Participated, and failed, in a Harry Potter spelling bee (I don’t know how to spell ‘threstals’! What the heck as threstrals? Wingless horses? Ugh). Left once to go to a deli to get a drink, I downed an entire bottle of Pelligrino, don’t ask why. Browsed through their manga section, flipped through Tsubasa, some Bleach, a Hagaren artbook I wanted to buy, Death Note and the like. Tried explaining to Andrew about anime and manga with Rouzhou, failed at that. Went back to play some Harry Potter bingo, Andrew’s dad won a ten dollar gift card. That was pretty hilarious.
Midnight came and went, Borders held a raffle for the first spots in line, no one won. I must admit, Borders was pretty smart in their handling of the distribution of the books. They had everyone numbered and categorized by color. Orange, for those who pre-ordered; silver, for those who reserved; pink for those who got their early (that’d be us); and purple, for not being there early and not reserving?
Waited for our numbers to be called, pink 60-80, or 80-100. Got on line, paid for a copy of the book and a rather cute pen I picked up while wondering. Meet Andrew and Ruozhou outside. Zhou decided to be an idiot and read the last two pages. Thanked his dad and parted ways on the corner of Greenwich and Rector with Andrew. The 1, 2, and 3 station didn’t sell Metrocards (pissed me off), so I couldn’t take the train with Zhou. Deferred to the N and W train, because it was easier for me to get home, but I would’ve enjoyed the company of a friend at one in the morning. Caught another one of the new N’s and started reading. I swear, on that one train, almost everyone had a Harry Potter book, that orange book jacket kept cropping up everywhere. Some random person tried to high five me for just having it.
The Book
So, at the end of this ‘epic’ journey, at the end of all this, what have I to say? Eh, it was alright.
Finished it about five hours ago, and even with all my hatred and contempt towards Harry Potter and his million dollar franchise, I felt pretty nostalgic. I remember buying the book when I couldn’t even speak English, I was absolutely petrified of that thick, maroon colored, hard-covered book. Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets sat on my shelf for two years before I took it down and read it. I admit, my ten year old self loved it, couldn’t stop reading till there were no more pages to be turned. And then, I went out and bought number one and number three. I deemed number three my favorite.
A lot of people, and creatures, died. I think it safe to assume that everyone saw that coming. A lot of people died. I saw a lot of what happened coming, I didn’t see some of the things coming. A rather annoying YouTube video semi-ruined the end. But, then again, I wasn’t all that excited about the end anyways.
Spoiler alert! I’ll try not to spoil the story too much, but you’ve been warned. Read on at your own risk!
I walked away from it rolling my eyes at Ginny and Harry, elated with Hermione and Ron and most of all, walked away feeling a strange, very awkward love for Severus Snape. I’ve never trusted Severus Snape and after he killed Dumbledore, I was just annoyed with his character. Severus Snape was a controversial man (notice, I’m addressing him in past tense). Everyone was speculating whether he was a traitor or a friend. I’ve always thought of him as the guy in between, playing both sides to benefit himself. It is revealed that he, indeed, had ulterior motives for playing the game, but not for the ones I could have ever, ever, ever, ever imagined. After finally knowing everything about dear Professor Snape, I felt immensely sorry for him, poor guy.
He was just in love with Lily! The guy did everything because he loved Lily. Rowling devoted an entire chapter to the poor man and I thought he deserved it. Voldemort kills Snape, the reasons are complicated and it’ll be an even bigger spoiler than this to talk about it, and Harry takes Snape’s memories to that…thing…in Dumbledore’s office. Harry takes a peak at the guy’s memories. Apparently, Severus has been in love with Lily Evans before they even left for Hogwarts. He met her when he was little and back then, when she asked if it mattered that she was only a half-blood, he said no. There were indecently good friends. On their first train ride to Hogwarts, Lily sided with Severus when he was bothered by James. Obviously, much to Severus’ dismay, Lily is sorted into Gryffindor, not Slytherin. Severus starts hanging around with creepy, death-eater guys, Lily get scared. Lily starts hanging around the Marauders and Severus just gets pissed. Then one day he calls her a mudblood and that was the end of that. Later on in life, Snape joins the Dark Lord. The Dark Lord’s off to kill the Potters, he begs him not to, he fails. The love of his life about to be killed, he turns to Dumbledore and sides with him. That didn’t really help, Lily died anyways. Despite being a complete jerk to Harry, he actually spent his entire life protecting him, because he loved Lily. Apparently, Dumbledore planned for Severus to kill him, long story, so we can forgive Snape because he was really one of the good guys.
I thought that whole thing with Lily was the cutest thing ever. I read Harry Potter for plot because all of Rowling’s characters (Harry, Voldemort) were uninteresting and the good ones (Sirius, Dumbledore, and now Snape) are killed off. Severus Snape and his little story there, made the seventh book just a little bit better. It was the only interesting thing I walked away with after 790 something pages.
One more thing, Neville Longbottom, I’ve always liked Neville, ever since that frog incident in the first book. He was such a sheepish, clumsy guy. After the fifth book, Dumbledore’s Army and all, I sensed that by the end, he’d get a pretty big role. He destroyed the last Horcrux. I’m pretty satisfied with Longbottom, always thought he’d make something of himself.
And Dobby died! Ugh, miserable people! I loved Dobby, poor house elf.
And now, the end. You really want to know? You really want to know how it happened? There’s a major battle at Hogwarts. Percy comes back. Notable people who died: Fred (I loved Fred!), Remus and Tonks (they just had children!). Voldemort kills Harry, Harry comes back and kills Voldemort. End! Yeup, that’s about it. I didn’t care much about the ending, to tell you the truth. It was expected and it wasn’t even dramatic. It was a whole lot of talk, and then Voldemort dies. Nothing dramatic at all. And of course, everyone’s happy, oh my dear god.
Epilogue – They all have kids.
Well, that was that. The end of the end. It’s actually kind of nice knowing that when you have children, you can gloat and tell them that you were there the night they released the very last Harry Potter. Makes you feel like you were part of something, no matter how brilliantly dumb the whole affair was. Oh, and I have a poster to prove it too. Ha.
Sayonara Zetsubou Sensei – Episode 2 · 20 July 2007
Well, here’s episode two! I just realized recently that there’s only going to 12 episodes of this. I would’ve liked more than just twelve, both episodes so far were so fun to watch and I actually enjoyed screen shotting the episodes. As you can see, I end up with a lot of superfluous footage. Usually, taking screens is tedious. I try to avoid the subtitles and there are only a few moments that work. Anyways, my screen shot troubles aside, I’m just itching for more of this. This is the type of show that’s funny every time you watch it.
Plot As Kafuka is walking to school, she sees Itoshiki being restrained by a policeman, or at least a transit system worker, as he’s trying to commit suicide. She rushes over, yelling for him not to throw his life away, pushes him over and into the train tracks, missing by inches the train. He picks himself up and asks his, now, trademark question, “What if I had died?” Ah, the irony. We find out later, as he’s speaking with Chie, that he’s in despair this time because he’s under the impression that someone rigged the metrocard turnstiles and has his credit card information and as they speak with drawing his money. Chie tells him to stop looking only at the worst case scenarios. So deeply rooted is his despair and pessimism that Itoshiki concludes the only way for him to stop is, well, to die. Preparing to hang himself, Chie tells him there is a hikokimori in his class and he should check on her. Despite having his own issues, Chie persuaded him anyways.
On a lighter note… · 19 July 2007
Berserk just finished torrenting! I also watched Sayonara Zetsubou Sensei 2 and Claymore 16, Code-E 2 I haven’t the will to watch yet and Darker Than Black 15 has become non existent ever since it got licensed. 16’s raw came out on Toshokan, why can’t I understand Japanese!? Ugh, anyways! To watching Berserk!
Couple of hours later…Nevermind…curse DivX, curse VLC, curse Windows Media Player. Where are my subtitles? Where are my subtitles?! I have it on dual audio but it doesn’t feel right watching it in English, for one thing the main character’s voice bothers me…Another three days of waiting for a better subbed version to torrent. I detest life.
Scratch that, I don’t really detest life.
Anime – Why can't the world just be simple? · 19 July 2007
In response to Bateszi’s post, ensuing argument and commentary, I have but one question to ask, “Why can’t the world just be simple?” Why can’t we just leave ‘anime’ defined as animated shows produced from Japan? Why must we over complicate things by asking, albeit interesting and thought provoking, impertinent questions that are without answers? Is the definition of anime truly obsolete? Is anime really dead?
Alright, total subjectivity here, because sometimes ignorance is bliss and simple may be stupid, but it sure as hell is a lot sweeter:
Anime, to me, is made by Japanese people. The characters have big eyes and no noses, gravity defying hair and a perfect physique. The animation is shiny, it’s colorful, it’s fun. When I watch the credits, I expect not to understand, or even be able to pronounce the names of the people that worked on the show. Going with the stereotype that absolutely everything produced in Japan has to be good, anime is good, much like how everything made in China is cheap as heck and breaks in a week.
You know what, I’ll be candid, forget all of this euphemistic, supposedly intelligent non sense. A very dimwitted comment, but one that I find necessary to make: Anime is anime because it’s Japanese. I, frankly, do not care how obtuse and shallow that statement is, but when it comes down to it, that’s really the basis of this whole argument. With the advent of shows like Afro Samurai and The Five Killers and anime no longer being a purely Japanese, people find it distressing or at least bothersome that the term is defined as such. Anime is and always will be, to me anyways, Japanese cartoons.
Last Exile – The End · 18 July 2007
Despite BrikHaus’ warning, I had my hopes up about the ending of Last Exile. In all honesty, I was pretty disappointed with how the ending actually turned out. The show had such potential, but it was wasted on a terrible, very indifferent ending. It was nothing out of the ordinary, it just happened. It was such a let down. The way things were building up, I was hoping for a pretty epic conclusion. Claus and Lavie crossing the Grand Stream, Maestro Delphine getting her ass kicked, Mullin finally getting the girl, Dio and Luciola being happy and weird, maybe even a little of Alex and Sophia and of course, Alvis and the Exile and the big, humongous battle that reveals everything. What did I get? Everything but what I was hoping for…
Pros
- Good animation – surprised that the CGI looked pretty good
- Great concept – discovered what steampunk was
- Some interesting, memorable characters – Mullin, Dio and Luciola, tentative but Alex Row and Claus and Lavie
- An intriguing plot – the Guild and the Exile and why Alvis was involved
- Nice music – I just liked the music, set a nice atmosphere
Cons
- Half developed characters – I didn’t even know what to make of some of the people at the end
- Slow pace towards the end
- Lackluster, boring ending
- Pointless character deaths – I honestly can’t fathom why some of the characters died…
Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann – Episode 16 · 18 July 2007
Oh my god! I saw the torrent this morning and literally dropped everything and downloaded it. My internet is evil and it took all day, which was actually good because I had to go to school and had to go somewhere with my mother afterwards. Any case, I waited for so long for someone to finally dub this! Thank you Bullet Speed Subs! Aha, get it? Bullet Speed Subs? Subs…sandwiches…Haha? You know, bullet speed…sandwiches?…Nevermind…why do I even try….
Anyways! It’s the recap episode! I loved it anyways! It brought back so many memories! Unless you want me to summarize episode by episode, plot point by plot point, every single thing that’s happened in fifteen episodes of Gurren Lagann, there’s no plot summary this time!
Plot (not really)Most of the first bit of the episode is about Kamina. You can’t think of Gurren Lagann without Kamina. It made me miss Kamina, a lot. From that first episode, he was the personality that stuck out to me the most, that blue hair, the cape, the sunglasses, “Who the hell do you think I am!?” He’s such character, dare I say it, he’s so GAR. There is no other way to describe the man, but he’s just so manly! He ideals unwavering, he’s the in-your-face, loud mouth that’s so damn lucky and the fact that he believes just makes everything work. Just remembering he and Simon’s first battle with Viral where Kamina’s great idea was to ‘fuse’ with Lagann and he literally just tacks the thing on top of his ganmen. I laughed so hard and so loud at that scene, it was the most preposterous thing and it was so funny. But what was even funnier and even better was that they beat Viral anyways.
Quiet day… · 17 July 2007
Watching Last Exile, up to episode 11. Will try to finish tomorrow, or maybe even tonight. I’m going to save all of my ramblings and rants for afterwards.