Berserk – The End
24 July 2007
I’m a total failure at self expression, I’ve sitting here for a good twenty minutes trying to come up with a good way to address this series. Total failure, total failure, I just can’t find the right words. It’s a most miserable feeling.
First off
For the majority of the series I sat there and nodded, appreciating the animation, the music, the totally violent and bloody nature of the show, which I really liked. It was not until the end, the last handful of episodes, that the series got me. I really just wanted to run around and scream, “What the hell happened!? What the hell was that for?!” I had such a need to strangle someone, preferably myself, at the end of the series. I didn’t see any of it coming, at all. It was like I managed to dodge everything it threw at me and then at the very end, when it looked like I’d make it through the series totally unscathed and breathing, that it swung a mace at my head. God, that hurt like hell.
Despite the violent nature of the show, the foundation upon which everything else was built, were the characters. It’s pretty amazing, they managed to tell one helluva story, overflowing with amazing characters, and still got away with having one guy kill a hundred people.
Just so you know, I was all for Guts and Caska, even back when she hated his guts, no pun intended. I was also a bit dense and totally missed that she, for a good portion of the show, was infatuated, in love, with Griffith, until she actually said it out loud. There were so many of those little moments, those little Guts and Caska moments and all of them, save for one, were interrupted by something or another. It made me want to bang my head into a wall, repeatedly. It was frustrating. Twenty episodes of watching this painfully obvious relationship unfold and I think it’s twenty one when it finally happens. I spent the entire episode cheering, I actually got up and did a little dance. I have to say, as much as I hated being tormented by the wait, it was worth it. It made that marvelous moment all the better. Sweetest thing in the world, God, that made me happy on the inside.
Surprisingly, I really liked Guts. The first couple of episodes gave me a terrible first impression of his character. He was scary, he was brutish, he killed without mercy and emotion, he was just creepy. Pained and haunted by his past, sure, but he also chopped that guy in half. I whistled. It was strangely beautiful, for what it was worth, to see that man’s torso fly through the air. Guts, as a teenager, struck me as impulsive and short sighted. Guts as a little kid, in his flashback, broke my nonexistent heart. Guts, in adulthood, totally destroyed all of my previous perceptions of him. Turns out, he was a really nice guy, kind, caring, with a strange sense of humor. He was an infinitely profound character. To watch him change and develop over the course of the series was one of the most delightful things I’ve been witness to. In a really cheesy metaphor, it was like watching a flower blossom. He also had the greatest facial expression, such a quirky guy.
Secondly
It was a kind of “you had me at hello” thing with Berserk. The very first episode got my attention. For one thing, it left so many things unexplained, I couldn’t live without knowing the entire story. Who the heck is this Black Swordsman? Why is he back? What is he back from? Why did he leave to begin with? What’s the mark on his neck? What are those insanely creepy demon things? Why did that guy just turn into a giant snake monster? Who in the name of God is Griffith and why does the Black Swordsman (still nameless at this point) speak his name in such contempt and hatred? And why is his left eye closed!?
Twenty four episodes later, I finally understood everything and with that understanding came the need to strangle something. The ending bothered me, it bothered me to pieces. The only expression I could find that satisfied how deeply it bothered me was “难受“, which means something along the lines of suffering a great calamity, feeling unwell, being perfectly incapable of living.
The source of all of my emotional anxiety and pain and why I’m perfectly incapable of living is one man, Griffith. Bluntly, I’d like to see the guy die. I want to crack open his skull with my bare hands (if only that were possible), bring him back from the dead and do it again, and again, and again and a couple more times. That’s how much I hate him. He’s despicable, absolutely despicable.
Griffith still gets credit for trying, he gets a lot of credit. People like him are supposed to win. The man of humble origins rising through the ranks to achieve the highest position in the kingdom’s army. He gets a whole lot of credit. So where did the guy go wrong? He had the wrong idea since the beginning. I’m the one that watches anime for the hot guy and Griffith was the hot guy, but there was something ominous about his character that I found very disconcerting. With his flowing, silvery blue hair in the wind, those mesmerizing cobalt eyes, standing on that hill, even with his innocent smile and unwavering confidence, his words were so unnerving, so disturbing. He was the hawk that soared across the sky, higher and higher, chasing his immortal dream, others flocked to him like moths to lamplight. The higher you are, the harder you fall. It was a feeling of impending doom and inevitable defeat that surrounded his character. It made me feel so uncomfortable, because for a while, he had me believing too. His kills Yurius, he kills the Queen and when all seemed perfect, everything went to hell. I’m not blaming Guts for what happened to Griffith. After all, it was Griffith who gave Guts the idea to chase him own dream, to stand as equals. And then, the retarded man goes and seriously, by the end of the series, messes everything up.
Just exactly what the hell happened at the end? Someone tell me I’m not just seeing things. It honestly felt like my wonderful dream turned into a hideous, hellish nightmare, and even after the episode finished, I never woke up from it. So, Griffith, poor child, gets tortured for a few years, gets rescued, suffers emotional suicidal fit and turns into a demon king by killing everyone as sacrifices?! Why in the name of God did that happen!? Perfectly incapable of living! Everyone died! Judeau, Pippin, Corkus even, everyone! Even Ricket, an episode earlier though. I wanted to bash my head against something, scream and pitch myself of a very tall building (plenty of those in New York). It’s the most baffling, jaw dropping hour of anime I’ve ever sat through. It was just one big, “What the hell?!” moment.
And Caska, Caska, why did that happen? They try so hard to kill me, I swear to God, they do everything possible in the span of thirty minutes to drive me insane and suicidal. If I weren’t so damn freaked out, I would’ve cried. The last two episodes were just scary, beyond belief, atrociously epic. I actually think I caught a glimpse of hell. It’s like someone taking a scalpel and delicately cutting open my chest and I’m just forced to watch. With those disturbing surgical gloves, peel back the skin, dig into the cut and pull back my ribs like opening a book. And there I am, and there are all of my organs, weltering in my own pool of blood. The most disturbing part is when I realize I’m doing this to myself. That all of this totally random torment wasn’t necessary at all.
It’s just an anime, downloaded, fansubbed, pixelated people moving across my LCD monitor, their voices coming from speakers that didn’t work too well. Guts severed his own arm, he literally bashed his arm with a stub of a sword until it came off and even then he couldn’t do a damn thing. One of those four freakish demon things remarks that it’s beautiful, watching this unfold. And in some really strange, possibly sadistic, way, it was. It was beautiful, so beautiful that it was mind blowing, unfathomable beauty.
For the longest time afterwards, I sat there and I couldn’t say a damn thing.
Random bits
- Guts, that was a funny name. Couldn’t help it, had to get that out there.
- That Blue Whale Super Heavy Assault Knight commander, the one that kept on getting his ass kicked, was a funny man. Apparently, everything was passed down through his family for hundreds of years.
- The armies had terribly funny names, the Purple Rhinos? The Purple Rhinos? Striking fear in the hearts of men? Come again? Why not try Pink Pandas, or Blue Buffaloes?
- The whole bit where the governor slept with Griffith scared me so badly. God, perverted old men…
- I hated the Queen. Long live the Queen…Not! Glad she died, hated her. Most moronic, useless character, period.
- Griffith still needs to die, no matter how good looking he is (or was).
- I really liked the opening theme, don’t ask.
Lastly
Brik told me to give it ten episodes, Bateszi to give it four, I gave it all twenty five and I’m glad that I did. I’m glad that I stayed up till around five to finish watching all of it. When it comes to anime, books or movies, I can’t take it slow. I need the adrenaline, that rush, that tense nervousness with each page, each episode, each minute. I want the rush at the end, the climax, I actually want to be smacked by a large mace. That’s the kind of impact I want out of a good show, a good anything, I want to get hit by something large, I want something to send me flying twenty feet in the air and hit a wall. I want to be completely killed and slaughtered by whatever I’m watching, or else, what’s the point? That’s why Harry Potter was so brilliantly disappointing. It didn’t pack a punch, it was like being smacked very gently by a pillow. Dear God, the emotional impact of Harry Potter was enormous, I just couldn’t handle it. That’s sarcastic, by the way. Honestly, I want the thing to shoot me.
Berserk reduced me to little pieces of flesh and bits of bone in about five episodes. When I was little, when my grandmother took me to the butchers, I’d always wonder what it’d feel like going through a grinder. Now I know, it feel absolutely miserable but it’s beautiful. Thanks to this show, I’ve thoroughly enjoyed my time being ground meat.
Sure, it was a giant bloodbath, that had its perks, but the thing that resonates through my mind at the end were the people. The characters, Guts, Griffith, Caska and everyone else. Guts still strikes me as one of the most poignant and complex characters ever devised. The paragon of an action hero, he possibly embodies the heart and soul of the series. Totally inexplicable, I have no idea why that is so, I still can’t find words but I hope you’d understand anyways. There was just something about all of it, something about him…
I liked it, oh, yes, I did. The whole thing just gave me such a nice, tormented feeling, from the Band of Hawk down to each character. It was a different feeling, different from the cool, fluidity of Bebop, different from the heaviness and suffocating weight of Evangelion. It was like flying, at first going stubbornly against the wind, then just drifting along, lost in the gentle sorrow, going wherever the wind takes me.
Excellent review, as ever. Just reading it wants me to go back and watch the series again. I feel sorry for you staying up until 5AM watching it though, no wonder it literally felt like hell!
And I’m glad that you pointed out the beauty of the characters. That’s what I love about Berserk, really, there is something so utterly fragile about their ambitions and their loves. Casca, Griffith and Guts are all so complex and feel so human. That’s why it’s my favorite anime, it may not have the best animation, it may seem a bit rusty, but the intermingling of relationships, the way the characters bounce of off each other, I’ve never seen anything like it.
Glad you liked Berserk. Excellent review. You really managed to capture the same feelings I had when I finished the series. You will want to go back and watch after the closing credits of episode 25, and go back and rewatch episode 1. Things will make even more sense then. There are two video games that continue the story, plus an extremely long-running manga. Now you understand why it ranks so highly on many “best anime” lists, and why it will forever be remembered as a classic. Thanks for this review!
@Bateszi – I kept telling myself that it’s bad to be up this late, but I couldn’t stop. I wasn’t satisfied until I finished everything. I actually think it might have added to the experience, staying up till five. I thought about it for a bit afterwards, what was it that made this experience so phenomenal. It wasn’t the story, it wasn’t the violence, it was the characters. I know what you mean, they had such great chemistry, it was brilliant to watch. And to think, I labeled this as one of those “big guy kill people with sword” shows…XD
@BrikHaus – Glad you turned me on to it! XD I think I should watch some of it over, the ending just blew me away. I don’t have either platforms the games are out for. I have a 360, made to play shooters and that’s about it, lol. I downloaded a chunk of the manga to read and continue where the anime left off, except it’s a bit different and the length of it discourages me completely. XD I started watching this a little skeptical, it’s not a hit every time, but man, I got so much more than expect. Yeah…now I know. ^^
Thanks both of you, for reading my totally incoherent ramblings. =D!
Wow. Ok, you have roused my interest. I’ve got to watch Berserk one day. I think I’ve been putting it off since it’s rather old school drawing and I’m not particularly interested in that style. Still…
And hey, 难受 is a pretty good recommendation for someone like me who actually like watching tragedies for their strong, impactful and memorable endings.
@Briar – I’m certain that if my translation was actually proper, you would not EVER want to watch something that makes you feel 难受. Regardless, if you like strong and memorable endings, go watch this. Go now! I hope I didn’t spoil too much of it for you, sorry if I did. T_T
Yeah, you know, when you start watching it, the old school animation actually looks nice. After a while, I started liking the old school-ness of the whole thing.
In any case, I hope you’ll like it! XD
I thrive on 难受-ness! I remember reading Assassin’s Quest by Robin Hobb years ago and spent a sizable time being happily depressed. Because however 难受 it is, it’s so impactful that I can’t help but go awwwwwww.
Don’t worry about spoilers; I skipped through specific details when I read your review to avoid getting spoiled, so mostly I just get the general vibe you have. 😀
You know what’s really creepy? I feel the exact way, down to the last word. Sometimes, I think I read and watch anime just to be happily depressed at the end. John Updike makes me feel happily depressed, a lot. Don’t know why, he just does. A lot of books make me happily depressed. XD
Yay! I didn’t spoil anything for you! It’s such a good story and such an experience, I’d hate myself if I ruined it for you. So relieved. =D!!!
It’s nice to read reviews from other people that experienced the exact same feelings I had the first time I watched the Berserk anime.
I was browsing the internet looking for a possible making of season 2 and happened to find this blog and decided to read it. You did an excellent job explaining the emotion and experiences one may get from watching this anime series. It really is mind-blowing and will probably continue to be one of my favorite anime series for a long time.
I started watching the series a year ago without any previous knowledge of the story, characters, ending, etc., and I will admit that when I watched the last few episodes, I also felt like I had been smashed with a sledge hammer right in the middle of my chest. However, after some deep thought and after watching the first episode again, I saw that even though it seemed as though our dreams had been crushed, there was still some satisfaction to get from the fantasy of Guts destroying anything and everything associated with Griffith, hence my search for the making of season 2.
Anyways, I’m glad you enjoyed the series as much as I did, and it’s a shame that most people don’t understand the beauty of animes such as this one.
Well, I’ve finally finished Berserk. Instead of 难受, I think I’ll go with 莫名其妙 (roughly translated to be “what in the freaking hell happened??????). Seriously. Huh???? It ended there? What the – ?
Spoilers follow:
Griffith going all psycho was sort of expected for me; Griffith going all perverted and raping Caska was all… WTF? Unless I watched it wrong, which I didn’t think so. And then he killed her, but not Guts? Ehm… WHAT??? The worst thing is that they just ended it there, before telling us anything important.
I went back and read your review more closely, and I think I’ve got to go back to watching episode 1 again. But even so… It’s so… 莫名其妙.
I don’t know, I don’t think Berserk is for me. My personal favorite is Judeau, who I think is in love with Caska but never had the chance to say it. Other than that, I don’t have a lot of strong feelings for the characters, except maybe Caska whom I wish the producers would make up their minds on whether they want her to be a strong woman or a shounen heroine who would suddenly lost all ability to fight at the most importune moments. -_-;;
@Williams – Thanks for reading! The ending was just traumatic. I don’t they’ll have a season two. The first season was cut down to 25 episodes due to budget problems and the manga is massive. I’m not sure how they’ll pull that one off.
@Briar – “莫名其妙 (roughly translated to be “what in the freaking hell happened??????)” XD, that’s a pretty good phrase. Yeah, that whole rape bit at the end really freaked me out. I avoided thinking about it, it was just so weird. Judeau’s death was painful to watch, I liked the guy too. And he never told Caska he loved her. T___T It was then that I realized that it wasn’t going to be a happily ever after. In fact, there wasn’t any after, it just ended. As for Caska, well, I guess they wanted her to be both. She was a strong woman, keeping the Band of Hawk together with out Griffith and she was a shounen heroine who would suddenly loose all ability to fight at the most importune moments. And then Guts would come save her…? Except in the very end, he couldn’t save her.
Well, at least you gave it a try. Most people don’t even get that far. =D! I really have to go back and watch it again, but I don’t feel like dying all over again at the end. T_T
Well as mentioned before the Manga goes on, Caska survives. Griffith raped her as “punishment” for Guts since it´s his fault everything went wrong (yeah right).
The story continues being disturbing yet offers hope along with a “party” of sorts.
I really recommend the manga if you liked the anime, what you saw was just the beginning. I´d compare it to the 1st book of the Lord of the Rings.
@Unentschieden – Woot! Caska lived! I downloaded most of the manga but I couldn’t get into. I guess I liked the anime better, O_o. Something like that, XD, thanks for the recommendation anyways. When I find the time, I’ll probably pick up the manga again.